A woman is at a stalemate with a friend after refusing to give her a ride to the airport during their girls’ trip to Costa Rica.

On Monday, July 28, the woman, 27, explained in a post on Reddit’s Am I the A—— forum that the vacation was planned to celebrate another friend Lisa’s 30th birthday. She said they would be accompanied by their relatively close mutual friend, Vanessa. 

Vanessa, 33, was initially reluctant when the trip was suggested because she had a baby just four months earlier, but was encouraged to go by her husband. The original poster (OP) said that despite her and Lisa having two weeks off work, they booked the trip for five days to accommodate Vanessa wanting a shorter getaway.

“After booking, Vanessa kept texting me about canceling or shortening her trip,” the OP said. “Our schedule gave us just 3 full days (Mon–Wed) to explore, since Thursday was a travel day back to San José for our early Friday flight.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“Then Vanessa said she wanted to leave Wednesday morning, which meant we’d have to head back Tuesday, losing another day,” she continued. “I warned Lisa, and she said Vanessa had just admitted at her house that she never wanted to go and only agreed because her husband pushed her. That really hurt Lisa.”

The OP said she and Lisa decided to extend their trip following the conversation, while Vanessa shortened hers. 

When Vanessa suggested that they should drive her to the airport during their getaway, the OP said they advised her to take a private car instead because they didn’t want to miss out on their plans with a day-long journey to and from the airport. 

“We explained our reasoning and offered to help with the cost,” the OP said. “She initially said she’d be fine with it, but later changed her mind and said she wasn’t comfortable traveling alone.”

“She backed out entirely, saying she felt like she was ‘jumping through hoops’ and didn’t want to be an inconvenience,” she continued. “We told her we were sad but understood.”

Three months later, the OP said neither she nor Lisa had heard from Vanessa. “She’s ignored our messages, didn’t acknowledge our birthdays, and hasn’t responded to anything, not even compliments about her baby,” the woman said. “We haven’t confronted her, mostly because she has a history of cutting people off and blowing up.

“She also tends to make things about herself, like announcing her pregnancy at Lisa’s birthday dinner,” she concluded. “There’s more, but we’re honestly just not feeling like getting yelled at. So we haven’t pushed it.”

While one commenter argued that Vanessa was right not to want to travel just months after giving birth, the majority of commenters agreed that the OP and Lisa shouldn’t have to sacrifice time on their trip to drive to the airport.

“NTA [not the a——] but I think you were way too nice,” a commenter said. “If it had been me and I had 2 weeks, I would not have accommodated someone who didn’t want to go.” 

“Vanessa is an adult. She’s capable of standing up to her husband and saying no,” the same commenter continued. “Instead, you guys allowed her to shorten the trip. I think it’s good she backed out and her behavior thereafter is immature.”

“But I think it would’ve been better had you been more assertive in the beginning and not changed the plans for someone who clearly did not want to go,” they added.