NEED TO KNOW

  • A woman on Reddit said she couldn’t attend her husband’s family’s annual couples trip due to her new job
  • Despite her concerns, her husband went without her, leaving her feeling disrespected and abandoned
  • She wondered if she’s wrong for expecting his support, but commenters suggested deeper issues at play

A woman turned to the Reddit community following a disagreement with her husband over a family trip to Cabo that he chose to attend without her. The couple, who have only been married for a year, is already navigating tension in their marriage, and this latest situation has left her feeling hurt and abandoned.

She explained that her husband’s family has a tradition of traveling to Cabo every October for a week-long couples trip. “It’s designed as a couples trip where everyone going is in a married couple (his parents, his brother and his wife and my husband and I),” she wrote in her post.

Stock photo of a man packing his bag.

Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty


This year, however, she is unable to attend due to her new job. “I started a big new job in August after a very long and stressful job search that spanned several months, many tears and tons of emotional ups and downs,” she shared.

She emphasizes that leaving for an entire week after only being in the role for about a month would be a bad look, especially in her demanding sales position. “Going would require me to leave my job for an entire week after having been on the job for barely 30 days, which most in corporate sales roles understand as a very bad look,” she explained.

The trip comes at a time when she is already under pressure both professionally and personally. She said that she and her husband recently moved into a condo he purchased from his brother, despite her objections over the strain it would put on them financially.

“This also felt like a blow to our relationship because wtf buys a home without their new wife being totally on board?” she asked, adding that they’re been “on the rocks” since the wedding.

On top of unpacking boxes and adjusting to their new place, she is left to manage her new workload without her husband’s support while he vacations in Mexico. “The last thing I need is for my husband to abandon me to go to Mexico for a week while I struggle to manage my new workload and prove myself at this demanding new job,” she wrote.

She admitted she understands her husband’s desire to take a break but can’t help but feel overlooked. “On one hand, I understand that he’s probably yearning for a break from the stress of everyday life and wants to enjoy himself but I can’t help but feel like ‘well what about me?’ ” she shared.

The woman also points out that she never got a honeymoon and hasn’t traveled with her husband since their wedding. When she expressed her feelings to him, she said he was dismissive and unwilling to change his mind.

To her, his decision feels like a serious misstep so early in their marriage. “I admit it makes me very resentful,” she confessed.

Her husband’s parents are aware of her feelings, and even his father has sided with her. “Both his parents know I’m not OK with him going without me. His dad is on my side but his mom couldn’t care less how I feel because I suspect she’s looking forward to babying him while he’s there,” she wrote.

Stock photo of a man walking away from a woman.

Getty


Comparisons to her husband’s brother only make things sting more. “I’m 100% confident that his slightly older brother (39M) wouldn’t go without his wife so I’m feeling rather bitter that my husband is so comfortable going without me after I’ve expressed to him that it makes me feel disrespected, dismissed and abandoned,” she explains.

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Stock photo of a couple arguing.

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The commenter adds that therapy might help her cope with everything she has going on. “There’s a lot more going on than him going on this trip. After a year of marriage you’re having issues. Get some therapy for yourself. It will be helpful for you to handle all you have going on. Good luck,” the reply read.

Now, she is left to decide what this moment means for her marriage.



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