There’s a key mistake you tend to make when you begin travelling as a parent, probably the most monumental error you will ever commit: the assumption that things are going to be pretty much the same.
Like, sure, you have a child or two now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t see the world the way you always did, right? Your child will be an adventurer, they’ll be eternally curious, they’ll be easy-going and excited. The more, the merrier.
Maybe all parents don’t think this way, but I did. Travel is my job, my passion, my life. Of course I will be able to do it with a couple of extra little passengers. That notion took about 20 minutes to be dispelled. Everything changes when you start travelling with kids. Or at least it should, otherwise you’re in for a very bad time.
Your entire approach to travel has to be altered. Slow things down. Pack more changes of clothes. Go to places that might not have previously appealed. Put the kids’ needs first, and your enjoyment will follow.
I’ve been travelling with children now for seven years. I’ve lived in Spain for a year with one. I’ve travelled to three continents with two. And these are the 25 lessons I have learnt that allow the best chance at hassle-free family adventure.
Every child is different
I’m beginning this advice with a caveat: every family is different, and every child is different. My partner Jess and I have two children (both ours) and they’re completely different, wanting different things, needing different things, putting up with different things. There are universal truths to travelling with kids, but it’s also important to know your own children and go with your gut on what you think will work.
Halve your plans. Halve them again.
You can’t do as much when you’re travelling with kids, particularly young kids. It takes longer to get out the door than it used to. It takes longer to get where you’re going. It takes longer to get through the thing you’re trying to do. You need toilet breaks and snack breaks, you need to figure out how to unfold the stroller again. Kids also need downtime – they get tired, they get overstimulated, they need space to just do nothing for a few hours while they reset. One of the secrets to successful family travel is to scale things right back.
Pack spare clothes and wet wipes
Wet wipes are perhaps the greatest invention known to man (and woman). They can deal with faces, with bottoms, with arms and legs and everything else that gets dirty or somehow covered with germs. Take a packet wherever you go. You will also need at least one change of clothes per child, because kids have a truly incredible ability to get everything dirty, wet or both.
It’s not a holiday – it’s a trip
Sorry, you don’t go on holidays now. You go on “trips”. A holiday sounds peaceful, the sort of thing you will return from feeling more relaxed than when you left. But that’s not what happens when you have young kids. You go on trips, where you work hard, probably harder than you do at home. A mother of young children once said to me, “It’s hard work making beautiful memories” and that is 100 per cent true. You will work very hard. You will make beautiful memories. But you won’t have holidays.
Childcare rules
That said, this is the closest you will get to a real holiday: childcare. This is your secret weapon in the battle to have a relaxing time with young kids. Let someone else look after them for a while. Our kids really enjoy their time in someone else’s care because there’s usually a heap for them to do; then, coming back to spend time with their rested, refreshed parents is enjoyable, too. It is, however, worth researching your hotel or resort’s childcare facilities before you arrive, or even book, to ensure they’re well-reviewed and reliable. Always trust your gut if things don’t feel safe.
Lead, and your kids will follow
Your children have their own likes and dislikes, passions and pain points, but they’re also highly susceptible to just being told what’s amazing and going with it. The key here is you, the parent. If you do this thing and clearly find joy in it – walks through national parks, nice food in restaurants, time in art in galleries, whatever – there is a good chance your kids will see that enjoyment and follow suit. In the same way, if you’re visibly frustrated or upset or bored, your kids will share your sentiments.
Screen time is OK
What do you do when you have to sit on a plane for 10 hours or more? You watch movies. You binge TV shows. So why shouldn’t kids do the same? There’s a trend among parents to be concerned about screen time for their kids, to try to get them away from devices and be present, and that’s completely reasonable. But there are times when screens are the best option for everyone’s sanity.
Go to fewer places, stay longer
Kids, particularly young kids, appreciate stability and routine. And so I can tell you from brutal, lived experience that if you plan a driving holiday with a three- and a one-year-old and decide to switch accommodation every two nights and stick a long drive between each of those locations, you are in for a terrible time. Travelling with kids is the perfect excuse to slow things down, to visit fewer places than you might normally, and to stay longer. This is one of those lessons you will carry with you for the rest of your life, too, because travel for everyone (including the environment) is better this way.
Trains are better than planes
Always take the train if it’s a reasonable option. Kids can move around on trains, they have space to spread out and relax, and there’s a sense of calm that you just don’t get in the air (or the airport).
You don’t have to go big, or go far
There’s no need to keep up with the Joneses if all you’re hoping to do is show the kids a good time. You don’t need to go skiing in Europe, or visit theme parks in the US, or even hang out with Godzilla in Japan. Kids love camping trips. They adore beaches. They have a ball in a national park. They have absolutely no interest in luxury or exclusivity.
Hotel cots are often not sleep-safe
We have travelled a lot with kids who need to sleep in cots and have noticed that, particularly outside Australia, hotels tend to have no idea about safe sleeping environments for young children. They put pillows in cots for babies, have big blankets and duvets, plus gaps between the mattress and the cot’s outer barriers. It pays to know your sleep-safe rules, and travel with a port-a-cot if you’re concerned about a certain destination.
Waterslides rule
We took our kids to Fiji once, to an expensive, all-inclusive resort called Jean-Michel Cousteau. There, our two- and four-year-old got to search the beaches for hermit crabs, eat food from a ground oven, go on a glass-bottom boat ride, watch cultural demonstrations, and stay in a beachside bure. And their highlight from this week-long experience? The small waterslide at the kids’ club. Their highlight from our stay at the Shangri-La in Singapore recently was also the waterslide. Kids love waterslides, and will also love you (even more) if you take them to one.
Eat local, take snacks
Dining can become a key part of the travel experience, and an enjoyable one, even for new parents. We travelled to Japan last year with our kids and they loved grilling their own beef at yakiniku, sitting up at the bar at ramen joints, eating katsu with chopsticks. The more you can expose your children to foreign dining experiences, the better. But, take snacks. Because sometimes your kids will see all this unfamiliar food and just say a flat-out no.
A compact stroller is a lifesaver
Get a stroller that folds down small enough to fit in the overhead compartment of a plane. The Stokke Yoyo is a perfect example, a sturdy stroller that can tackle poorly paved streets, but packs down small enough to carry onboard, meaning you never have to be without it. While we’re at it, a portable high-chair that clips onto a table, such as the Mountain Buggy Pod, is a game-changer with kids under three.
Think carefully about accommodation
A standard hotel room feels pretty small once you add a small child (and their cot). Add another kid and it’s very pokey. It also has no washing machine and no kitchen, both of which are handy for parents of young children. Plus, you’ll be lying in bed in the dark at 7pm (or hiding in the bathroom) once you’ve put your kids to bed. Some hotels do cater well to young families; most, however, do not. This is where something like Airbnb can be useful. Only, you need to be careful there, too. We once stayed in a “child-friendly” apartment in Bologna that was filled with cacti at toddler eye-height. It took us a good hour to child-proof it.
Flying with an 18-month-old is a horror show
If you’re considering long-haul air travel with an 18-month-old … ah, maybe don’t? Obviously, some people don’t have a choice, as my partner and I didn’t when COVID-19 hit in Italy and we had to flee home with our then 18-month-old son. But 18 months is that age when kids are old enough to move around, but not old enough to have their attention caught by anything for more than a minute or so. For your sanity, go when they’re younger, or wait till they’re older.
Pack everything you need
If you have a favoured brand of nappies or wet wipes, or cutlery your child is used to using, or a nightlight they need, or any of those little essentials that creep into your daily routine when you’re a young family, take them with you. You never know what will be available in your destination.
Fiji is amazing
The stories are true, and every parent deserves to know this. Fiji is one of the best, if not the best, family travel destination. Discover why below.
Tailor at least half your day to your kids
OK, so you want to go to a winery for a tasting. Great news: you can do that when you have young kids. Just, don’t spend the whole day going to wineries for tastings. Plan something that is specifically for your kids, and then plan something that is specifically for you. Not every experience has to appeal to everyone, and not every experience has to be designed to keep your kids happy. But you need balance.
Kids like rocks. And sticks. And catching fish
I guarantee you, kids care far more about the rock they just found than the beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower. They will also make you stand and wait at the most inopportune moment because they saw a cool stick. And they will remember catching a fish for the rest of their lives.
All-inclusive is not a dirty word
Until about seven years ago – coincidence, surely – I would not have set foot in an all-inclusive resort with on-site childcare. Now, however, it seems like a very good idea. I won’t want to do this for all my family holidays, and not even for the entirety of a trip that does include one. However, something like a Club Med, where all the meals are tasty and taken care of, where there’s childcare, where the kids can make friends and we can make friends and everyone is safe and things are easy … Yeah, that sounds OK.
The biggest attraction on this trip is … you
There’s been research done on this. Kids love going travelling with their parents, not so much for the thrill of travel, but for the thrill of the quality time they get to spend with their parents. That’s something to bear in mind when you’re on the road with your kids: the biggest attraction here is you. Make sure you’re living up to that and enjoying it because it will only last a short while.
Don’t go boating with a one-year-old
We did a self-drive boat cruise in the waterways surrounding Venice when our son was 14 months old and everything went wrong: the weather, the boat breaking down, everything. Though, even if it all went right it would have been a nightmare. Children that age can’t be cooped up on a small boat for days on end. Or at least, ours couldn’t. It was a hard lesson in setting your dream holiday plans aside and planning age-appropriate adventures.
Take your chances when you have them
COVID-19 taught us that our chances to travel are finite, and we should grab the opportunities when they arise. That’s never truer than for parents, who watch their children grow before their eyes, and realise the time they get to spend with them in any capacity is so limited. So, book that ticket. Take that time off work. Go on that trip. You never know if the opportunity will come up again.
This is the greatest gift a parent can give
Why attempt to teach your kids about the world and this life within it, when you can show it to them instead? Travel truly is a gift, a way to expose your children to different cultures, different ideas, different beliefs, different ways of living. What better way to spend your money?
Five of the ultimate family destinations
Fiji
The stories are true: Fiji is delightful. It’s beautiful, it’s safe, and its hotels and resorts boast excellent childcare facilities, staffed by people who genuinely enjoy their interactions with kids. Here, your children get cultural immersion and plenty of joy, while you get… whatever you want. See fiji.travel
Australia
You don’t have to go far to give your children a memorable, enjoyable holiday. In fact, everything you need is right here in Australia. We have ancient culture, a great diversity of experiences, safety, familiarity, and the ability to do plenty of short trips instead of one big, expensive one. See australia.com
Japan
It should come as no surprise to anyone who has visited Japan that this country is one of the greats for family travel. Japan is incredibly safe, it’s clean, it has public toilet facilities everywhere, it offers chances for cultural immersion while also having things like Disneyland. See japan.travel
Canada
There’s so much to love about a family holiday in Canada. This country offers incredible outdoor experiences – skiing, camping, canoeing, hiking – along with major sporting events, road trips, cityscapes, First Nations culture as well as a sense of safety and predictability. See travel.destinationcanada.com
Spain
Walk around a Spanish city at night and you see an amazing thing: kids. Everywhere. Children are integrated into Spanish life, and taking them to a bar or restaurant, hanging out at a playground late in the evening, going anywhere and doing anything, really, is perfectly acceptable. See spain.info
