In the midst of wedding-planning stress, your and your partner’s attention may start to turn to thoughts of your honeymoon. Maybe you two envision yourselves sitting on a beach and sipping summer-inspired cocktails, or perhaps you’re dreaming of heading out on an adventure-filled excursion full of hiking, swimming, and various outdoor activities. Yet, regardless of what your idea post-nuptial vacation looks like, there’s another key question you may have before you start booking your flights and accommodations: Who pays for the honeymoon?

Such a trip is often an expensive one, especially if you’re considering international destinations. As a result, it’s critical to establish who’s funding this getaway—and how much they’re willing to contribute to it as soon as possible. Without these parameters set in stone, it will be almost impossible for you and your soon-to-be spouse to decide where you’ll stay, what types of activities you’ll partake in, and how long you’ll be away for. Know that as you determine how much to put toward this trip, experts recommend adding about 15 to 20 percent of wiggle room to account for unexpected costs, advice you’re likely already familiar with when it comes to wedding planning.

Below, an etiquette expert explains who traditionally pays for the honeymoon, as well as the three parties modern couples are turning to to fund this getaway. Read on for everything you need to know.

Who Traditionally Pays for the Honeymoon?

“Traditionally, certain sides of each family would be in charge of different event costs of a wedding,” says Myka Meier, an etiquette expert and the founder of Beaumont Etiquette. “In older traditions, it was customary for the groom’s family to cover the cost of the honeymoon, while the bride’s family typically paid for the wedding itself.” However, she notes that this standard has evolved with time. With modern couples, it’s more common for them to fund their own post-nuptial getaway, split the costs between their families, or even ask guests to contribute to such a vacation, she says. “There’s no one-size-fits-all rule anymore!”

Who Pays for the Honeymoon Today?

As previously established, modern brides and grooms often take a different approach when it comes to funding their honeymoon. Typically, today’s couples look at three different parties to pay for this post-nuptial trip. Below, we break down why you might choose each path—and what to consider when discussing your plan with others.

You and Your Partner

Depending on your own financial situation, as well as those of your and your partner’s families, you and your soon-to-be spouse may opt to pay for this post-nuptial vacation yourselves. If that’s the case, start setting aside money early on in the planning process to ensure you’re able to book your dream getaway spot.

Your Families

Your or your partner’s family may want to pay for your honeymoon as a wedding gift to the two of you. You may also decide to raise the prospect of doing so directly with them. If that’s the case, approach the conversation in a respectful manner—and at the right time. “The earlier the money talk can happen during the planning process, the better,” Meier says. “If the couple is hoping for financial help from their families, it’s best to approach the conversation honestly and with gratitude. It’s also helpful to have a general idea of the costs before the conversation, so everyone understands what’s being asked and what different families may offer.”

Your Guests

One of the most popular options for modern couples looking for a way to fund this post-nuptial vacation is by asking their guests to contribute to a honeymoon fund. “[These] have become a popular and acceptable option, especially for couples who value experiences over traditional physical gifts,” Meier says. However, even though such a request is becoming more widespread, it’s important to word it carefully. She suggests saying: Your presence on our big day is the greatest gift of all! If you’d like to help us celebrate with a contribution toward our honeymoon, we’ve created a fund to help us make lasting memories. “Couples should always offer the option for traditional gifts as well and make sure that any mention of the fund is discreet, through a wedding website and not on printed invitations,” she adds.

However, if you’d rather not explicitly ask your guests to contribute to a honeymoon fund, you can also opt to use the money you and your partner receive as wedding gifts for this vacation.
As more couples opt to take their honeymoon a few months—or even a year—after the wedding, turning to monetary gifts from loved ones to cover honeymoon costs allows you to know exactly how much you have to spend on such a trip—without worrying about putting any strain on your savings account.